Discipline
Overstimulated by the day job & numbing via the voids of social media are make getting all the things done, difficult.
In this blissfully quiet week (for me) between Christmas and New Years, I’ve been thinking a lot about discipline. I’ve set my general intentions for the year to come, as well as the specific areas I want to focus on, and yet with all this downtime, I’ve been distracted by activities that numb me out rather than fill me up. Let me explain…
I get overstimulated quite easily by people. Between my introverted & empathic nature, coupled with my social anxiety, people exhaust me. It takes a long time for me to recover. (Yes, that may sound dramatic to some, but iykyk.)
Lately, my recovery has included mindless activities: scrolling on Instagram & TikTok, watching endless Youtube videos without actually enjoying it, and playing The Sims. To the point when I get bored with those, I become antsy and don’t know what to do with myself. It’s a problem.
I’ve already taken steps to limit the mindlessness:
remove Tiktok
put a screen time limit for Instagram
limit Youtube to when I’m doing something else (walking pad, puzzle, cleaning, etc.)
only play Sims after I’ve read, written, or exercised [[notice the emphasis on the or]]
These all have been helpful in limiting the mindlessness.
But I’m still not writing and reading — my two big loves.
I’ve been a reader since I was a little girl. Books have been my savior but I have read very few of them this year. In 2022, I read 71 books, my highest that I’ve tracked in the last seven years. Whereas, in 2024, I only read 14 books. A disappointing number to say the least.
I miss the years when I didn’t have to make an effort to read. I just read. Somewhere along the way, I became too tired, too overwhelmed, or too antsy to sit down with my book. Now, I miss the pure calm that fills me when I turn to books to quiet the world rather than scrolling.
Then, there’s writing. My writing has fluctuated over the years, but the last few years have most certainly been the most consistent. In the last 3 years, I’ve been published and I finished the first draft of my novel. I feel so invigorated when I’m writing consistently, getting words out and into some cohesive format. Even these blog posts have been so inspiring.
But then, I just stop.
I don’t follow through to the finish.
So how do I actually do the things I want to do?
Discipline.
Somehow.
We all know that no one else is going to come in and hold us accountable for our passions. Unless we pay them of course, but that’s not an option at the moment. So, I need to discipline myself. I need to stop the mindless scrolling and numbing out. I need to use my reading and writing to calm and invigorate me the way they always have, instead of looking at either of them as a chore, or too much for my brain to handle at that moment.
So, in order to do this, I am planning — nay, I WILL — read and write for 20 minutes every day. I created a quick spreadsheet that has the full year on it, and I’m going to track myself. There are no rewards for this. I’m not working towards buying something or anything like that. I simply want to fall back in love with my loves. And for now, that means sitting my butt in my chair, getting the words out and taking the stories in. No excuses.
The tracker I created. She isn’t particularly pretty, but she’ll get the job done.
